yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
