She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
