haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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