I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
