I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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