Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
