so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
