first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
