what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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