I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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