Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
