he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
