Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
