He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
