ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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