okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
