I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
wat bout pragnant strippers??
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
