I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
