reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
