i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
