Christians are straight up FREAKS
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Church boner. Awkwardddd
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize