She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
