maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
