Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
