We got so high we made milksteak
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
