party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize