His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
