Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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