is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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