Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
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