I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
