I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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