u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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