i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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