Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
