forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
