in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
