I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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