I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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