what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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