He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
