Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize