Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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