It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
