my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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