i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
