yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
