he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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