i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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