My nipple is on Facebook.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
