Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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