i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
