New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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