Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
