Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
