As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
