Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
