Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
