So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
