Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
last night I used snow as a chaser
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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