Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
