kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
