his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
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