Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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