Well douche your snatch and let's go!
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
