Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize