it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
