I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
