Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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